I was channel-surfing some stupid tv crap:
Home Shopping, K-1, CSI Detroit – cant
remember exactly: lesbian serial killer,
Bolivian corn holders, headbashing
mayhem – all good fun. Anyway money
markets are easing and banks are starting
Meanwhile rainy season is clouding up
again. Through half the winter then the spring:
black smoke in dead skies, royal jelly in capsules,
bulldozed bodies, Heidegger and the credit crunch.
I should get a smart phone, try to engage
the whole human being, pay close attention
to mercury, x-rays, gross miscalculation.
Maybe watch more reality tv, email my personal
story to I-Report.
But I dont. Because I dont wannabe just
another niche-specific mediated nerd. Another
Blodnik. Mr. Technoslot. The virtual co-author,
everyday hero You Tubing my own mental
breakdown, heart bypass, Reagan-style funeral
in real time to a global audience that loves and
cares about me as much as I love and care about
Because I want to be real. Authentic. Genuine.
I want to do real things in real time with real
people. I want to get up later and later, experience
the blues, contract a spiritual malady, smell live
flowers, feel a failure of will, an actual puppy, fear
and separation anxiety.
Because virtual reality isnt good enough. I feel like
I shouldnt watch cable news just to make fun of
corporate media. Shouldnt read the papers just
to see how bare-assed stupid the writers are.
Ive got to eat in bad restaurants, stay in second-rate
hotels, talk to homeless guys, listen to pop music
(some of it must be ok), have lunch with my students,
for the Actuality, the Authenticity of it, to keep
in touch, connected, see how the other half lives.
Busy. Busy. Busy. Thats me. A real person, in real
time, doing real things.
Tokyo, Tuesday, 06/23/09